


Dancing with you

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Remembers, Dancing, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:57:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘That’s something I hate about back then.’ Bucky said, suddenly. Steve didn’t say anything, but he could see a flash of anger in his friend's eyes, and meeting them for a second was enough to prompt Bucky to continue. </p><p>‘They didn’t let you.. They made you… I remember feeling so… angry, and ashamed. Ashamed, Steve, for… for just… dancing with you, and getting caught.’ Bucky continued, hands shaking. Steve reached over and took his hand, gently, and Bucky flinched out of... well, almost like a delayed reaction to what they always used to say and snarl and shout and mutter about people like him. And Steve.'</p><p>Bucky and Steve sit together on a rooftop, and Bucky remembers them dancing together in the 30s.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing with you

Steve couldn’t remembered who organised this party at his apartment - it was either Nat or Sam - but after a good few hours of the party environment, Steve decided that he needed some air on the roof. Upon hearing this, Bucky said that he would join him, adding that it was probably something to do with them ‘getting old’. Steve laughed with Bucky then, but he didn’t tell him that when their hands brushed as they walked up the stairs together, he felt a twinge in his chest like he was fifteen again. Bucky didn’t say anything either, but he secretly just wanted to spend time with Steve, because being around him made him feel happier and safer than he’d ever felt.

 

‘Nice nice, huh?’ Bucky sighed, as they both sat down heavily on the roof. 

 

‘Yeah, not bad.’ Steve replied, as he watched Bucky staring intently out into the night sky. ‘You okay, Buck?’

 

‘Yeah, yeah. I think I just… remembered something.’ 

 

_ ‘Hey Stevie - would you like to dance with me?’ He asked, his heart pounding without him quite knowing why. It was a hot night, so they’d left the windows open. He remembered quite vividly how Steve’s hair was tousled gently by the wind, but you could also hear the soft music from one of the buildings below. _

 

‘Really?’ Steve asked, his eyes brightening. Bucky laughed quietly under his breath at his friend acting like some kind of puppy, with those bright blue eyes of his. His heart twinged in his chest at this, but he pretended that was just because his mind had just uncovered a memory. 

 

_ Steve laughed through one his smiles that made his chest tighten, which shook his small, skinny frame. ‘Dance with you? Sure, I’ll dance with you - jerk.’  _

 

_ ‘Hey, punk - just try not to step on my feet too much, okay?’ He laughed back, a new kind of happiness rushing through him as he pulled Steve close and felt his head rest against his chest and his heart beat, faintly, through his shirt. _

 

‘Yeah, we were… dancing together, one time.’ Bucky said, aware of a soft blush that had started to spread on his face. ‘...Your hair was long, and we were at your house, I think.’

 

_ He was so happy, but he was also nervous. Of course he felt happy when he danced with girls, but he was never usually nervous. Not that nervous, anyway. Or this happy, come to think of it.  _

 

_ ‘Song’s nice. This is nice.’ Steve mumbled, the sound of his words vibrating onto his chest. He murmured in agreement, making sure to guide Steve around so that he wouldn’t trip on anything. He was so happy, but at the same time his heart felt like it was going to burst.  Suddenly, the music swelled, so almost out of habit, Bucky dipped Steve quickly, before pulling him back up toward him, so that they were facing each other.  _

 

‘That’s great, Buck. But we danced together a lot of times back then’. Steve smiled, wide and almost boyish, and Bucky’s heart hurt again. 

 

‘It was when we… uh..’ Bucky started to say, before being silenced by the rest of the memory that burst through his brain. 

 

_ They laughed together, giggling loudly. Even when they stopped, Bucky realised that they were still holding each other close, and he realised that he didn’t want to let Steve go. Steve didn’t tell him then but he didn’t want Bucky to let him go, either. _

 

_ ‘Hey, Buck?’ Steve asked, a light gleaming in his eyes. _

 

_ ‘Yeah?’  _

 

_ ‘Ain’t this usually when you try and kiss the girl you’re dancing with?’  _

 

_ They both laughed again, quieter this time, and Bucky swore that time stopped in the next few seconds as they looked at one another and thought the same single thought, as they both slowly, slowly, edged their faces closer together.  _

 

_ Closer, and closer… But then - _

 

‘We almost, uh… kissed.’ Bucky said, almost unable to meet Steve’s eyes. 

 

‘Oh’. Steve replied, laughing a little. ‘Yeah, I remember that, too. Think about it a lot, actually.’ He said, a redness spreading on his face.

 

‘Really?’ Bucky asked, the red blush on his face growing a little stronger.

 

‘Yeah, I seem to hear that song all the time…’

 

_ Steve’s Ma. You could hear her walk up the stairs, slow and careful. She hadn’t even reached the door before they jumped apart and sat, separate and pretending to be distracted by something that was in front of them. They couldn’t look at each other, not properly, not in the eyes, for a good while after that. Bucky didn’t know why, and neither did Steve. _

 

But even though it was a memory, Bucky could tell why they reacted like that now. 

 

‘That’s something I hate about back then.’ Bucky said, suddenly. Steve didn’t say anything, but he could see a flash of anger in his friend's eyes, and meeting them for a second was enough to prompt Bucky to continue. 

 

‘They didn’t let you.. They made you… I remember feeling so… angry, and ashamed. Ashamed, Steve, for… for just… dancing with you, and getting caught.’ Bucky continued, hands shaking. Steve reached over and took his hand, gently, and Bucky flinched out of... well, almost like a delayed reaction to what they always used to say and snarl and shout and mutter about people like him. And Steve.

 

‘Sorry, Buck.’ Steve said quickly.

 

‘No, don’t apologise - looks like I have something other than everything Hydra did to work through, right?’ He tried to laugh, but ended up sighing, before looking away. 

 

‘You know that anything is okay, now, right?’ Steve said, looking up at Bucky and refusing to look away from him before he at least nodded. 

 

‘The LGBT+ community is fantastic, I mean, it’s helped me figure out stuff about myself that I… well, I mean, I knew at the time, but I didn’t really understand, you know?’ 

 

‘Yeah. I-I know. I’ve looked up stuff too… I know that I’m bisexual, I mean.’ 

 

‘Really? Me too.’ Steve said, before they locked eyes and laughed together quietly, if only at the coincidence. 

 

‘It’s just.. I know who I am, and I’m proud, you know? I am, but I still have everything that everyone said…’ He sighed, before gently taking Steve’s hand and squeezing it. ‘It’s all still up here,’ he continued, tapping his forehead quickly ‘and I just need to work on ignoring it, okay?’ 

 

‘I know, Buck, and I’ll help, okay? I’ll help.’ 

 

‘Thanks Stevie.’ He breathed, before standing up and going to leave. ‘I’d better go, I’m kinda tired, you know, being nearly a hundred and all.’ He smiled down at Steve, who smiled back. ‘Shame we couldn’t get a dance, though, huh?’ Bucky asked, smiling a little wider down at Steve, who grinned back at him, the same gleam in his eyes as Bucky turned and started to walk away. 

 

‘Before you go… would you like to dance with me, Buck?’ Steve called out, as a familiar song for all those years ago, and a recent memory, made Bucky’s heart twinge in his chest as it began to play from Steve’s phone. ‘Now that we actually can?’

A grin split across Bucky’s face as he turned around slowly to face Steve, he laughed quietly to himself before reaching Steve, taller than him, now, and grabbing his free hand, while placing his other on his waist, gently. ‘I thought you’d never ask, punk.’

 

‘Uh… I’ve just really realised the fact that you’re taller than me now, that’s… different.’ Bucky added, quickly, through his grin, making Steve laugh too, before smiling back at him and pulling his friend closer before they started to slowly dance around the rooftop. 

 

The heart wrenching, hopeful song continued to play from Steve’s phone as they both gently and carefully moved around in each other’s embrace, almost like they were scared to move too quickly, like they wanted to savour the time and make this all be over all too quickly.

 

As the music swelled, Steve gently dipped Bucky, causing them both to laugh almost breathlessly. They stayed like that for a minute or two, letting the moment pass in the air, letting the seconds feel like they were ticking for longer. 

 

Then Steve pulled Bucky back up, so he was standing close to him, in fact - standing incredibly close to him, in fact. Neither of them moved for a few seconds, and so they stood there, holding each other, practically giving each other an eskimo kiss, they were so close to each other. 

 

Steve knew that Buck would probably crack a joke or something, at least, that’s what would have happened back then, when they were younger. He or Buck would do something to diffuse the tension, to let the moment pass… and then just forget about it. Because if they had acted any differently, or anyone had seen them like that, then… Steve didn’t even want to imagine what some people might do, let alone what they would say. No, back then if something like this happened, they almost always tried to push it aside, and just forget about it. It was better to just forget back then, and pretend that there was nothing there. He understood what Bucky meant, and what he and Bucky needed to work through, even now, and it broke his heart.

 

But there’d been far too much forgetting for both of them, and they weren’t in the 30s or 40s anymore. Steve sucked in a desperate breath as he felt that familiar twinge in his heart that was telling him to do the thing that was practically unthinkable all those years ago. As always, it fought with a ferocity that burned through his chest, and Steve was so, so tired of fighting it. Fighting with how he really felt. Bucky didn’t tell him at the time, but he felt that way, too. 

 

He didn’t tell him, but he tried his hardest to show him. Bucky edged himself closer to Steve, locking eyes with him that were filled with an intoxicating mix of happiness and longing. At this, Steve decided to the plunge that he realised he should have done the moment that Bucky appeared back in his life like the miracle he was, that they should have done all those years ago, and kissed him.

 

That’s when time really stopped, for both of them. Steve had read somewhere that when you kiss the right person, it felt like fireworks. But whoever thought that was wrong. It didn’t feel like an explosion, it felt like… calm. Like the moment before the fireworks, when everyone stared at the sky, holding hands and in awe at the beauty up there even before the bursts of colour appeared. It felt like time had stopped, because why would it need to carry on if you’d found what time was counting down to? It felt like the aftermath of stars colliding, and panic easing, and being completely content with the world.

When they broke apart, that’s when Steve swore he could hear fireworks somewhere. Like the whole world was celebrating the fact that they’d finally kissed - and if Steve didn’t already have a massive smile on his face, then he definitely would have at that thought. But no, as soon as they broke apart from the kiss, Steve’s burning mouth spread into a wide smile, because he was just so damn happy.

 

Bucky was smiling too, he realised. Wider than before, and almost delirious. But before Steve could admire it any more, Buck whispered, ‘...Wow’.

 

‘Yeah.’ Steve replied, equally dumbfounded. 

 

‘Haven’t been waiting to do that for roughly 70 years or anything.’ Buck laughed, his eyes still shining, before pulling Steve close to him again. 

 

‘Nope.’ Steve grinned, pulling him closer still. Neither of them wanted to take their hands away from the other’s waist, and neither of them wanted to walk away from this moment and let it be forgotten. Ever. 

 

They stood there, close together again, and smiled at the fact that they could use the time they had however they liked now. They could laugh together, they could hug, they could hold hands, they could dance together… all without feeling guilty. They could love openly and fearlessly, and at that thought, Bucky reached forward and kissed Steve, joyous and fierce. 

 

They didn’t know how long they were up there together, but they did know that Steve’s phone had died by the time they decided to go back inside.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for a while, so sorry if it seems a little rushed or anything, or if there are any errors. I was just so excited to write this! I hope you like it.
> 
> There's a few songs that I thought they might be dancing to during this, so let me know if you'd like me to share them.


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